I have never been very masculine or confident, so I usually go a long time between girlfriends. Recently it had been a long time, and I wandered into an adult bookstore just for some excitement. I had been in them before, but I had never gone in back into the arcade. It was a little dark and scary, and I was pretty sure things happened in there that were unseemly and probably dangerous. But I got up my courage and went in. As my eyes adjusted to the light, there were some guys standing around in the hallway, and they must have seen that I was nervous. I went as quickly as I could into an open room and locked the door behind me. I fumbled in the dark to put some money in the slot and then started browsing through the videos. There was some rustling next door, and then I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look and it was a big white cock perfectly framed by a hole in the wall.
My heart started beating fast as I realized that there was a cock just a few inches from my face. All I could do was stare at it. I had always been curious about other guys' cocks, like in the locker room, but I never wanted to stare and make him think that I was interested. In the privacy of the booth, I didn’t have to worry about that. It was a thick white cock, and gleaming in the light from the video screen. Even though it was soft, it was still thicker than mine is hard. I am at the lower end of average with a 5” cock, which is not too out of place on my thin 5’9” frame. While I was staring at this man's cock in a trance, he reached down and wagged it at me, like he was expecting something. It made me feel like it was my duty to help him, like it was my role.
So I reached out and gently lifted his cock. My hands were shaking. It was warm and had a heft to it that was new to me. It was so strange to feel another man’s cock after so many years of only feeling my own. I have always wanted to have a big cock, always wished I could intimidate women with it and make them gasp and moan like they did in the porn videos. Now I finally knew what it felt like to hold a thick, heavy cock in my hands. It occurred to me that this was the closest I was ever going to get to having a big cock.
Then I noticed that it was growing. It got longer and thicker, but still soft. It was alarming to feel this monster grow in my hands, and not know when it was going to stop or how it was going to end. It made me feel like a little girl experiencing cock for the first time. I started to get anxious as I realized that this man was getting turned on by what I was doing, and that he might expect something more from me. The anxiety turned into panic and I let go of his cock and ran out the door!
Once I was home, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I masturbated multiple times to various scenarios that could have happened there. I couldn’t get it out of my mind and eventually I went back. I have been back multiple times since, and I typically give handjobs to 5 or 6 guys. I bring along some good silicone lube that I bought from Amazon, which is much cheaper than buying it at the bookstore. I have learned to give good handjobs to the men who come there. Sometimes they want more, but I explain that I only give handjobs. That keeps it safe. I like to go around lunchtime during the week or late morning on weekends. That’s when local businessmen come or guys doing errands at home depot. They are happy with handjobs and don’t insist on more from me. At night, the men who show up want more than just a handjob. I have gotten very good at it and often the guys give me a thumbs up after I have gotten them off.
I only like to service guys who are bigger than me, which is most of them. I thought really big cocks were only in porn, but since I started servicing men at the glory hole I have learned that a lot of guys have big cocks. Some of them are truly enormous, and they make me feel like I am not even a man in comparison. It feels good to kneel down on the dirty floor and position my face right in front of a man’s big cock while I stroke it. I like to stare at the head of his cock while I am stroking and realize that this is a view that no real man should ever see. I like it best when he is relatively small at the tip but very thick at the base. This is the kind of cock that could fit into a tight hole and then relentlessly force it open. I like to squeeze the base of his cock between my fingers when he is hard and feel how much thicker he is than me. And I like it when he starts to come without warning, and shoots cum all over my face and in my hair and on my clothes. In the videos, the guys always knock before coming, but in Portland, they just start cumming. Then I say “thank you, Sir” while he is putting his big cock back in his pants and I am trying to clean up all his cum. Then I sanitize my hands and get ready for the next cock.
Sometimes they ask me to show them my cock, but I never do that. I tell them that I am only there to serve. Sometimes they ask to come into the booth with me. I did this a few times when he had a nice cock and was especially persistent. This was especially intense. He had to put his pants back on to go out into the hallway, and then he expected me to kneel down in front of him and undo his pants. Kneeling down in front of the bulge of a man who is fully dressed somehow made it even more real. Then I had to undo his belt, which was backwards from the way I do mine, and unbutton his pants, and pull down his underwear, and then a big cock flops out right in my face. It was very intimidating, especially because he was watching me do it, and his face was not that friendly. Then he started to call me names while I was servicing him. He kept calling me a little bitch and a faggot. At first this hurt my feelings. There I was holding his balls and stroking his cock and doing my best to make him feel good, and he was insulting me. Then somehow I started to enjoy it. I guess I realized that he was just trying to help me understand who I really am, and I accepted his words and tried even harder to please him. Then started grunting and thrusting and he came all over my face.
Another time there was a pretty young woman browsing the videos when I came in. It was only me and her in the store. I got up my courage and went to go talk with her. She was in front of the black videos and all I could think to say was “black guys have really big cocks, don’t they?” She just smiled at me and nodded. Then the lady behind the counter, who was this big bull dyke type, shouted at me in a really loud voice, “get away from her!” I was shocked, like I had been caught doing something wrong, and before I could even think about it, I had turned away from the young lady without even saying goodbye and headed straight back to the glory hole. Within a few minutes I was stroking a man’s cock. Then I realized what had just happened: I had an opportunity with an attractive young woman, and the lady behind the counter decided that I was out of bounds, that I had no right to talk with her, and put me in my place. I realized this while I was on my knees stroking a man’s cock that was pointing right at my face. It was a humbling moment.
Even though by this time I have had sex with many more men than women, I still don’t consider myself gay. For example, I don’t want to kiss a man, or cuddle with a man, or go to sleep or wake up with a man, and I definitely don’t want to marry a man. I just feel that it is my duty to service bigger, more masculine men. I guess that makes me a beta submissive sissy. I still really love women, and would love to marry one, though I know she will likely prefer to have sex with alpha men. But I could help support her, and keep her safe, and serve her and her lovers at the bedside when needed.
So I guess I am open to meeting both men and women here. I think I would be good for an alpha woman who is looking for a cuckold, or for an alpha man who enjoys being serviced by a beta submissive man, especially if he wants me to do it in front of his girl. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you are interested!
Comments
Post a Comment